Sunday, March 22, 2009

外国人系列 之 中国人看我们?

或许你们还记得,去年我在这里提到那个一听到我是马来西亚人,就决定推荐我一个master thesis offer的中国老教授?

我当时也不敢肯定我看到的,纯粹是他对大马人理解后的偏爱,还是。。。那种只有深刻的感触才会留下的痕迹。昨天,我那个不敢肯定的猜测被证实了。

星期五下午三点,是我们材料系的fika时间。fika是一个瑞典人管叫我带回我的雨林,代他们宣传的优良文化XD 说穿了就是大家坐在一起,喝咖啡,吃甜点,然后聊天说地 ^^ 这里很多公司,很多部门都有他们自己的fika tid,是促进同事之间的良好关系的桥梁。

我们材料系里的中国同事不少。大多数都是像李常海老师那样,在这里移民多年的老瑞典了。他们有个共同点,就是每次他们的目光移到我的脸上,总会让我发毛 ="=||| 感觉就像。。。在被眼神解剖。然后,又是一样的treatment,他们对大马人的印象,似乎跟李老师对我们的印象一样好。谈到我的时候,他们的statement总是"马来西亚人"怎样怎样,而不是"我"怎样怎样。他们把我们当稀奇古怪的动物了?在拿我衡量整个大马的人?O_o

咳,这倒让我想起来瑞典之前,一个很好的朋友提醒我,来到瑞典我可是在代表大马呐。是个玩笑吧 ^^ 玩笑成真了 ^^

我总是不厌其烦的告诉我的中国同事,我不能代表大马人。而他们的回复 ="=
"对对对,你是比较优秀的"
>.< 我知道他们在开玩笑,可是也只得解释下去。。。只是,一直到星期五,他们还是拿我来当典型大马人了="=||| 而我也明白了他们会这样看我的原因。

星期五,我和lisa领了我们的咖啡和一种瑞典特有的cinnamon paste为材,馅的味道和颜色都很像红豆沙的面包,坐在曹玉大姐姐的旁边。我们谈着谈着,她又把话题绕到了马来西亚。当然在外一年半后,大马已经是个我熟知自己要怎么呈现的话题了:P 她给我的一字一句的专注,很flattening也很吓人啊。。。后来lisa因为赶时间提早走了,曹玉就拉着我,把她对马来西亚人的看法告诉我了。这次,换我把专注全留给她的字句了。。。

原来,李老师的儿媳妇,是个大马人。她的用词是“原来的儿媳妇”。我脑海里闪过他那个ericsson在中国的总裁儿子。回想起李老师当时给我们上完那唯一的一堂课后,留下来给我们说的事。嗯,他那个儿子是他的骄傲呢^^ 然后,曹玉说,“他对他这媳妇儿可满意了”。接着就是一大堆他凭什么对他这媳妇儿那么满意的citation,然后就是大谈很多在中国已完全变型,却在大马人身上得到了保留的最传统的中国文化。啊,那他们是在我身上寻找这些被保留的东西了?我印证了李老师这个已别人世的媳妇儿的故事了?曹玉recite这个故事时在里面放的激动是她自己的,还是李老师的?每当我跟李老师说“老师好”的时候,他携着那个“好”而来的点头和微笑,是属于全大马人的?是一个老人家的遗憾。。。我皱眉了。

大多数时候,我都是耳膜和听小鼓们在操作,只在最后回敬了几句。回敬的内容是我们的祖先越洋过来时,没法和他们一起带过来的五千年的知识结晶。我们的祖先,多是受教育极少的贫苦人家,被逼移民寻找另一片天空不是吗?移民那一刻,我们似乎把长久的历史都留下了,带不走了。这是我在认识中国朋友过后,看到我们缺少的最明显的一块。我们是一群“爱拼才会赢”的贫苦的农民的后代。有着共同经历的祖先,我们看事情缺少很多其他的视角。连曹玉都明显的指出,我们的祖先们还是成功的把他们认为对的,一代一代传了下来,最后衍生成了今天的我们。

好像从被母树砍下,断了根,却在接枝法下,从新树上长出来的果实吧 ^^

春,又轻轻地吹起来了。
今天送上新开的snow drops一小丛。这可真的是瑞典的春的典型^^ 请耐心地等着更多野花charm着这一页^^

9 comments:

A Black Cat said...

I like this passage, I will re-read it when I am freer to understand it better coz no time to digest now and coz I TMD never read Chinese for a super long time already T_T

Just wanted to say, it is very true that we are ambassadors of Malaysia, especially when you're in Sweden, you may be the only/very few Malaysian(s) that many Swedes see in their lifetime *sweat*

Even now when I am in Singapore, I dunno why my whole class only me one Malaysian... have to uphold conduct man, haha. Kukui said he went to Johor the other day and was super shocked when the people there don't speak English as good as me, 'coz he put me as standard *another sweat*

x said...

bcoz no malaysian who is brought up in "proper" malaysian way do phD in ur selection of topic dear...
somehow relates to my post again XD think of it, we really are a narrow set :)

i definitely am the only malaysian that many swedes know in their lifetime *sweat heavy heavy*
害我不敢乱乱来。。。
but the handfull of other malaysians in sweden who i came across IS a cool bunch ^^ as cool as de weather here XD

anyway, 感动~有人看我的文章第二遍~~^^
though it is not writen to my satisfaction actually :P
it would be nice if we can talk about it face to face, i would lov to hear ur input... some 夜深人静的时候,躺在亲密好伙伴上面 XD

LL said...

ahahaha
good on you both, just read june's comment.

hey cmon, as usual, touchy feeling from your post... gan dong~~~

I mean, I guess I envy the fact that I can read your reflection on your thoughts. and I am glad to hear the story you share..
the ambassador of msia.. and also the first hint of spring in sweden.. so far away...

keep it up and keep up the writing in chinese.. that relief me =)

ah, when is your scotland trip again? easter eh? enjoy

Guan Fuat Motor said...

难得可读到你以中文书写此篇 toucning heart 再接再厉

Guan Fuat Motor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Guan Fuat Motor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Guan Fuat Motor said...

Correction: TOUCHING HEART

x said...

@LL: haha, u havnt really see how i write when i overflow with emotion XD
de main reason for staying english is for the non chinese reading ppl and computers XP another reason is i can gladly say i love all of u in english but chinese will be awkward XD
scotland is one week before easter :)

@爸: 你的comment 也 touching heart T.T

lcf said...

感动。。。